Your are stronger than you think

You are stronger than you believe you are, or at least stronger than your eating disorder allows you to believe you are!
I discovered this for myself tonight. Here’s how I came to writing this post….
I was the only one left awake. Mom had so kindly gotten me left over chocolate cheesecake from her and dads anniversary dinner. (So mom if you are reading this, this is not your fault). This cheesecake is all that was on my mind. I was allowing the eating disorder voice to consume me with different approaches to eating it. The voice said, “just eat it all Kirby, you can throw it up after.” Noooooo, doing this would just feed into my eating disorder… Allowing it to take control again. So I told myself to eat 2-3 bites and put it away! Ofcourse as I did this, that voice told me that if I didn’t throw up those bites, I’d be even fatter. This time I almost headed to the bathroom to do as I was told. As I walked in I looked in the mirror, seeing how big I am, and almost did it. Then I head myself say, “don’t do it. You will only be giving ED his way and you will feel guilty. It will not make you feel better.”
Well, here I am about to go to sleep and I didn’t do it!!! For the first time I was able to stop myself, and hear my own voice over the voice of ED! Ah I am strong enough to fight this. Tomorrow is another day in the life of a girl struggling to overcome her eating disorder… But I know every day I only get closer! You are strong enough!